Carolyn O'Donnell

Serious travel image: U Bein bridge in Myanmar

Most travel sites seem to take themselves terribly seriously. Just because you are on the road doesn’t mean you’ve left your sense of humour on the table in the hallway along with the international adaptor.

I look at some of these sites, desperate to increase traffic and maximise their SEO (search engine optimisation) and improve their rankings and quite often I’ve been sent into a deep sleep by the banality of them.

Here’s a tip: You will not find five-star comfort or a banana shake on the ferry down the Irrawaddy from Bhamo in Myanmar

Frequently they offer information along the lines of ‘Survive or Die Travel Tips’, and thinking I will learn something important I read the post only to be told to get to the airport on the right day, take valid travel documents, and put my clothes in a bag of some kind rather than throw them down at a check-in counter screaming: ‘Deal with these!’

So no fatuous and irritatingly obvious travel ‘guidance’ from me. Though some people need help: I have seen would-be travellers trying to leave a country with a passport that has expired. This kind of person should probably be encouraged to stay at home for their own safety.

At some point long-term bloggers usually declare: ‘I quit my job to travel  the world in search of adventure!’ like they’re curing cancer or something. They’re not, especially when they then add that their favourite thing is to sit on a beach. And then pose for pictures in skimpy swimwear hoping to increase traffic and improve their rankings.

Here I am, gazing at the vista in the above photo and thinking only 29 and a half hours till I can get off. I love all the feet near my head though

There are pictures of me in various places because I am asked to provide them, and I  put them out there knowing they will probably drive people away. You will never see me in skimpy swimwear. I promise.

In any case, I generally prefer evaluating beaches to reclining on them as I get bored. Too many years as a critic I guess. However travel, like art, is so subjective. Sometimes it’s more useful just to present the material and let readers make up their own minds.

People all over the world like to travel, and they like to laugh. Of course there are other activities of a universal nature that most people enjoy, but this website is not getting involved with those.